Wastewater Visibility News
From Denver J. Stutler: Better Listening Makes Me Better
December 11, 2024
Denver Stutler, Jr., P.E.
Thought leadership from Denver J. Stutler, PE, on the significance of how you answer the “yes” or “no” question.
In many businesses, this is the time of year when budgets are proposed and approved and plans are finalized for 2025. And when it comes to thoughtful and strategic planning, perhaps nothing is as important as our listening skills.
Over my years in business and as a government administrator, I have realized that the answer to a yes-or-no question should always be “yes” or “no.”
While this may seem obvious, for many of us, it is more difficult than it sounds. While working for Governor Jeb Bush as a staff member, it became clear that when he asked a yes-or-no question, no matter how painful it was to communicate, a yes or no was what he wanted to hear. I quickly learned that my job was to communicate what needed to be communicated.
A yes or no answer provides the status sought. Then, the person you are speaking with can ask you to elaborate, or you can ask them if they would like you to provide more insight.
Far too often, we answer with the why first, which muddles our communication. Sharing our “why” tells the listener that you are not listening to the question or consider your response more important than the answer sought.
A yes answer is typically the easier of the two response options because yes means everyone is on the same page and in basic agreement. Saying no is a different matter, and no is too often preceded by either an explanation of what has been done, what hasn’t been done, what’s still expected to be done, or some other excuse or explanation.
There are only two types of listeners: those who respond to a yes or no question with yes or no and those who respond with something else.
In short, if we want to be known as a straight shooter, we answer yes-or-no questions with a yes or no and wait for the questioner to ask additional questions.
We improve our reputation as good listeners when we answer with yes or no and pause. This approach is valid whether we are conversing with a superior, a team member, a customer, a relative, or a friend. In all these situations, better listening makes me a better person, especially when listening to gain insight and understanding.
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